Members One of Another

Last week, Alicia and I celebrated 25 years of marriage. 

In the next several minutes, I like to share how every single one of us… is in a similar relationship. Please turn to Romans 12.

Think about a road trip. You've done this. Four people crammed in a car heading to the beach. Same car, same road, same destination for everyone. Somebody has to grab the wheel... you can't all steer. 

But… the person driving isn't the boss of the trip. They're the one responsible for getting everybody there safe. Everybody else is doing the music, reading the map, passing out snacks, and every so often saying, "hey... you missed the exit." One car. One direction. Everybody in it together.

Hold that picture. Let's go see it in the Word. Then we’ll apply it to our lives.

Turn to Romans 12:4–5. This is who we are.

For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one, members one of another.

We are “many members… one of another… in one body.” Your hand belongs to your foot. Your eye belongs to your ear. That's us. You might be a foot, you a knee, me a nose. All together - we’re a body… of believers. You’re part of a body. That’s the analogy. 

One car. Bunch of people. One body. Bunch of people… connected to each other. In a relationship with each other. 

Okay. Great. I’m a foot of a body. Yay. How does knowing this apply to my life - in a practical way? 

Turn to 1 Corinthians 12.

Let’s read 1 Corinthians 12:25–27:

That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. [Your nose loves hanging out with your upper lip]. And whether one member suffer (get punched in the nose), all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular. (1 Corinthians 12:25–27)

If somebody in this room, bombs an exam, we’re all bummed. If somebody, in particular, gets the internship, we all celebrate. That's the Body. And this "one another" phrase… shows up everywhere in Paul's letters. 

Listen to this. I’ll read what Paul wrote for us to apply to our lives today.

• Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; (Romans 12:10)

• For, brethren [and sister-ren], ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)

• Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. (Philippians 2:3–4)

Serve one another. Prefer one another. Esteem the other better. Good stuff, right? Real applicable things for us to do… for and with… each other. Written 2,000 years ago. 

Now here's the thing... turns out… this is exactly what makes a marriage work. Same words. Same “caring” and “serving” and “loving”. 

A marriage… is just a small version of the big body of believers. Two members who've been glued into one.

You're Already Married

Turn back to Romans 7:4.

Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; [so] that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. (Romans 7:4)

That “married to another” is a Greek word ginomai (GHEE-no-my), and it does NOT mean married. It means “to become assembled together.” Connected. Connected to another. 

[So] that ye should become assembled and connected to each other, 

The Comparison and the Real Thing

Turn to Ephesians 5. 

This is the marriage chapter everybody knows. But let’s start at the end of the chapter, verse 31, because Paul tells us what he's really talking about throughout this chapter. Let’s jump to the conclusion. 

Eph 5:31-32

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31–32)

Paul is talking about Jesus Christ and the big body of us believers.

So marriage isn't the point. Marriage is the comparison. The real thing for every believer (single or married) is that you are joined (v31). Which means “glued together.” Assembled and connected. With something bigger than yourself.

Head and body

Back up to Eph 5:23.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:23)

Here's where people get this wrong. They read "head" and hear "boss." 

But… what does a head do? It gives direction. It's the source. The body grows up and connects into the head. A head without a body isn't a leader. It's a head… on a table. Creepy. Useless. The head needs the body.

So "head" isn't "you're in charge, and you get to boss people around." Nope. It's "your hands are on the wheel.” Remember the car analogy? You're responsible for where this car goes and for everybody in it. The head serves the body. 

Love like Christ loved

Verse 25. Eph 5:25: 

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25)

"Love" is agapaō (G25). This is unconditional love. Love that gives. Love that serves. How did Christ love the church? "Gave himself for it." Love is “all in.” Not fifty-fifty. It’s 100%. 

Verses 28–29.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (Ephesians 5:28–29)

"Nourisheth" means to feed. To provide… so something grows. "Cherisheth" is to warm up and keep warm. 

That's how God treats us. He feeds us with the Word. He keeps us warm. And that's the pattern... for a husband. But also for a roommate. For a friend. For whoever's in the car with you. For us in fellowship. 

Submitting One to Another

Now verse 22, the one everybody trips over. Eph 5:22. 

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

Before anybody gets upset, look one verse backwards. Verse 21. This is where the sentence actually starts.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear (respect) of God. (Ephesians 5:21)

“One to another” again! We’re talking about everybody. The whole body. The word for submitting is hupotassō (G5293)... hupo, under, and tassō, to arrange. To arrange yourself under. Like the body under the head. And it's the middle voice in the Greek, which means… you're doing it to yourself. Nobody's forcing Alicia to do anything. 

You choose to line yourself up, arrange under, in support of someone else. It's the passenger in the car saying, "I'm not grabbing the wheel. Instead, I'm reading the map for you, I'm watching the road ahead with you, and we're getting there together."

And Paul makes this mutual relationship very clear in 1 Corinthians 7:3–4. Let’s turn there. Let’s read 1 Corinthians 7:3–4. 

1 Corinthians 7:3–4:

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3–4)

Likewise the wife... likewise the husband. Both directions. 

If you're dating, this is what you're looking for. 

If you're about to be engaged, this is what you'll be doing. 

If you’re married, this is a blessing. 

And if you're single... this is what you're already practicing every time you come to fellowship. Being connected. Hanging out. Checking in with each other. Taking care of each other. 

Please turn to Act 2. Our last verse. 

This Room

While you’re doing that… look around the room for a second. Some of you have been friends for years. Some of you are related to each other: my daughters are here. My wife of 25 years and one week is right here. 

This... handful of believers… in a living room, eating together, praying together, knowing each other's stuff... is how the believers in the first century looked like. And this is how we model our church. We go to church in the home. From house to house. And there are home fellowships all over the world. 

Acts 2:42 says: And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. (Acts 2:42)

Sound familiar? 

Doctrine (the Word). Fellowship. Food. Prayer.

Here’s what we’ve learned

Romans 7, single, dating, engaged, married 25 years... doesn't matter. Every one of us is in a relationship right now.

Romans 12, we're members… one of another. 

The head… ain’t the boss. The head is a source. The head serves. It’s “hands on the wheel.”

Love… is all in, 100%, not fifty-fifty. It feeds and keeps warm. 

And submitting… is one to another... everybody... choosing to support each other.

And a living room full of believers, eating together and praying together, is exactly where all of this can happen… in your life. 

Keep reading and learning spiritual truths. And keep fellowshipping with like-minded believers. It’s a good way to live. 

That’s what I wanted to share.